Dr Laura Email.

I love being able to stay home with my son. Some days, I wish I was on an island -- far, far, away. However, I would never trade the life I have for anything. Tyler and I don't own our own home, we don't go on fancy vacations, we don't own designer clothes, we don't go out to dinner all of the time, and we don't have a huge savings.

However,

- I have been there since day one.

- I was there when we had his first seizure

- I was there to comfort him when he was sick

- I was there when he took his first steps, first words, first crawl

- I get to plan fun parties and not feel stressed

- Tyler can come home feel relaxed and play with our son

- Ty is a happy, well adjusted toddler.

I have had family, friends, and strangers question OUR decision for me to stay home. And frankly, it works for us. Our son is OUR first priority. Ty will only be little for so long and I would like to be there for all of his moments. Once our children are older we can work our butts off to make our millions ( haha)

I decided to post a letter received from a Dr. Laura by a reader.

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Dear Dr. Laura,

I am SO enjoying reading your book. I am 46 years old and have a 3-year-old daughter. I told my husband years before we married that I did not want to have children unless I could be with them. I also said that I was willing to accept whatever lifestyle we could reasonably afford on one income, even if it meant selling our house, renting a dwelling and owning only one car. We started our own business eight years before she was born, to see if we could improve our income with me staying home with any children we might have as being the primary reason. We were lucky enough (and committed enough) that the business is successful enough for my dream to come true. When my daughter (Penny) was two months old, I held her up one morning and asked my husband (Mike) to imagine putting her in daycare. He gasped in horror. Frankly, I'd live in a car before doing that.

My choice is not popular these days. I was a psychology major at UC Santa Barbara in the early 80's and I have been in recovery from my own alcoholism (clean and sober since August 1986) and in recovery from growing up in an alcoholic family. Out of all the schooling I received, I clearly remember one lecture where my professor said CHILDREN REQUIRE A SUPERHUMAN AMOUNT OF EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL SUPPORT. This means TIME. You can't give that support if you are not there. Parenting is a VERB, not a noun, and being a parent is on-the-job-training, and you can't get the training if you are not at work! I don't know how much time all these other crazed multitasking people get, but God gave me 24 hours each day and I need at least eight of them to sleep! I also remember my professor tell us that CHILDREN LEARN BY MODELING. They pay extremely close attention to whoever they are around and copy them. I want my daughter modeling me, and she has been an inspiration to maintain my OWN character.

I overheard a woman at a kid's play center marveling at how many pictures her nanny takes. I have just as many pictures, but I was the one who took them. I have some acquaintances who have so much money they wrote a check for their four million dollar house. They have a nanny, they are both gone a lot (weeks at a time) and the two saddest little girls I know. In comparison, strangers come up to me all the time and comment how happy my daughter is, how confident, how bright and how well she talks. I take her everywhere with me, and I can count the number of times she has been left with a babysitter. And at the end of each day, I lie in bed and worry that I didn't play enough with her, that I didn't pay enough attention to her.

I am choosing, with no reservations whatsoever, to make being a parent to my daughter my career. That is why I call myself a professional mom. My choice is not popular, as farming out parenting has become so normalized. But I am hoping that people start making the connection between kids in other-than-parent care and divorce rates, depression rates, and worst of all, the rising level of violence in children. I am all for women doctors, lawyers, and astronauts, but not if it means treating your child like a houseplant.

My cousin's wife, an RN, had a baby shortly before my wedding to Mike. At my rehearsal dinner, she was telling me how long and hard she had worked to be a nurse, and that is why she was going back to work. I told her that I was going to be with my child when we had one. She was so angry at me she has never spoken to me again. I always wonder about women who are working those two jobs (mom and career) and if there is something about their career that is so important that they would never ever consider delegating it....well, that is how I feel about being a mom.

My choice is not popular these days, so thank you, Dr. Laura, for your book. Besides my husband and some very wise friends, male and female, it is my cheerleader.

Best wishes and Happy New Year,