2 Months

Ohhhh Gabriella Gabriella. It has been such a change for me  to wake up at least once a night and sometimes only getting a couple hrs of sleep a night. I use to think if I didn't get at least 8 hrs I would be ridiculously cranky. However, now getting 3 hrs of sleep can be the norm and I function perfectly. She no longer needs to be swaddled. Sometimes she gets irritated if we swaddle her. She does however, need to fall asleep on us and then we can switch her to her crib.

She started smiling when we smile at her. I truly feel like she knows who I am. Sometimes when I am nursing her she will look up at me and have the biggest grin on her face. It is probably one of my most favorite things. It is the best bond ever.

She is such a happy baby and has a brother who dotes on her all day long. They have such a magical and special bond with one another. If Gabriella is crying, Tyler will sing any song he knows to try to get her to stop. Nice thing is, she usually does. Sometimes he runs out of songs and starts to make up things to say. One line goes like this, "No crying my baby sister. Let me kiss you so I don't miss you. Gabriellaaaaa I love you. Stop screaming or I will kiss you."

She also has a very cute bond with my mother. My mom will speak to her in Spanish and she looks so peaceful. It is beautiful. Also, everytime we have seen my mom Gabriella has THE best night ever. Which means, I have the best nights ever! I always know I will get a good nights sleep after visiting my parents.

She HATES when the car stops. Sucks at red lights. She loves the motions of the car but as soon as it stops she will make the cutest pout expression. Ohhh, I love this girl.

The Joys & Challenges of nursing... the second time!

Man oh man. Ty's labor and delivery was awful. But breastfeeding and his newborn stage was a breeze. He was the PERFECT baby. Gabriella on the other hand has been a little difficult. She is now 6 1/2 weeks and nursing finally doesn't hurt. With Ty, it hurt for about two weeks and then was so easy. I expected that it would be easier the second time around. Gabriella had latching issues at the hospital and sometimes she was hardly interested in nursing at all. But I didn't give up and prayed that eventually it would get better.  I'm so glad we got over the hump. Although sometimes she gets a little fidgety and then I realize she either peed or has gas and then she's fine. If it wasn't for the ridiculous cost of formula and multiplying that for the next 11 months, I might have given up. Thank goodness I didn't, I wouldn't miss this bonding for anything.

I read this online and it brought a tear to my eye. It was such a sweet story and helped me on days when I wanted to give up :)

Dear Daughter,
You are three weeks old. You nursed pretty much straight through the night last night, as I sort of drifted in and out of being fully awake.
You’re going through a growth spurt.
When you switch sides I feel the sting of letdown. Sometimes you nurse eagerly and gulp down the milk. Sometimes you become upset because you don’t want milk. Or you don’t want the fast flow of my over-active letdown. Sometimes you just want to lay in the semi-dark and nurse peacefully while your little dark blue eyes stare at my face and your little feet kick the still-soft skin of my belly which was your former home. Sometimes you want to comfort nurse. When this happens I kiss your forehead and switch you back to the “empty” side and let you lay close. You are a wise little creature that understands what it is that you need.
I am not a human pacifier.
Usually when a mom says that, it’s an expression of frustration that their infant insists on suckling for comfort. This is not what I mean when I say this.
I am not a warm human substitute for a cold silicone and plastic doohickey.
Your father may sometimes be a human pacifier. You suckle on his pinky finger during diaper changes or when I desperately need to wash my milk-stained body in the shower and remember for a few moments that I have two arms with two hands and that the dimensions of my body do not include an oddly independent nine pound female child that is frequently suspended from my body in a wrap of lightweight gauze. Your grandfather may be a human pacifier, as he holds you lovingly while I get your big brothers ready for bed or eat a hot meal without waiting for it to cool first- a luxury of not being afraid of hot bits of soup falling on you while I eat. Your brothers may briefly be human pacifiers when they offer up their pinky fingers for you to suck on, always imitating their daddy.Your grandma may be a human pacifier when she offers you her pinky finger to suck on and sings you Russian songs from her childhood.
But my breasts are not pacifiers. Comfort sucking is not time wasted. It’s part of the job that my body and you have. It is how we evolved. We are the product of a long process of evolution that causes you to seek out my arms and my breasts, to suckle for comfort, to communicate with my immune system, to stay close and warm and protected, to stimulate the supply of your food, your antibodies, the components of breastmilk that scientists can see but cannot identify the function of.
Maybe you want the comfort of non-nutritive suckling because there is something that has you stressed out. Maybe you want a slow flow of high fat hindmilk that comes from comfort nursing. Maybe your body has some bacteria in it and you need the closeness so that your immune system can communicate with my immune system and it all can be taken care of without either of us ever knowing and without you ever becoming sick from the foreign invaders that your body cannot cope with but that my adult immune system attacks with the ferocity of a mama bear defending her cub.
Independence will come at your pace. “I DO IT MYSELF!” will become the phrase of the moment soon enough. The need to peel off and be independent is as natural a need as the need to breathe, to sleep and to eat. It comes from within the child when the child has the ability. It has come from within your brothers as they get older. It will come from within you as well. I can see it already as you bob your head against my chest in the wrap and peek over the side eager to strengthen your muscles and look at the world.
I choose to neither hold you past when you wish to be held, nor deny you comfort while it is something that you seek. I push you gently to be independent, recognizing that your world naturally expands within your comfort zone without me needing to push you past it into tears.
I am not a “human pacifier”. I am what you have a biological and evolutionary need for. I will not devalue your needs by implying that you lack the wisdom and understanding of what those needs are. I will not devalue your needs by becoming frustrated by your refusal to accept something that does not meet those needs. I want you to listen to your body from the beginning, to understand the difference between a healthy need of yours and a pacifying object. To have an understanding that dates back to the beginnings of your time on this planet.. That comfort comes from having your needs met, not from distracting yourself with something pink, pretty and plastic.
No manufacturer makes what you need for happiness, little one. I want you to understand this from the beginning of your life. Happiness comes from love, from closeness, and from deep inside of you. Seek this happiness, and never be distracted by things that simply pacify you rather than satisfying your needs.

<3 Mama.

http://nurshable.com/2012/05/04/i-am-not-a-human-pacifier/

Ty and Gabriella

So Tyler is now back at work. Having both of them has been pretty easy. Ty is such a big help! He cuddles her while I make breakfast for the two of us and holds her if she is cranky and I need to do something. I was nervous about the age gap between the two of them but it actually has been nice. Because they are so far apart Ty can be a big help. He can grab himself snacks if I'm nursing her and he's hungry. And the fact that there isn't any jealousy is amazing.

They are just perfect. I am in love :)

Lesson of a mother

I found tickets on Living Social for 50 % Oakland Zoo lights. It was such a deal and I was so glad we jumped on them. Ty loves the zoo but now we had the opportunity to go at night and see Christmas lights which is Ty's favorite! My in laws decided to go to Chilis before and invited us. Ty didn't have a nap and restaurants are so not my thing with a toddler when no nap has been taken but we went hoping for the best. He was pretty good while we waited for them to meet us there until the food came. So I took Ty outside and tried to calm him down to no avail. By the time he calmed himself down everyone was already done eating.I wasn't feeling well which made everything worse but well, the life of a mother.

We went to the zoo and Ty was very excited to see all of the lights. We also saw some animals when we rode the train, which was a real treat! he had quite a few freak outs but really enjoyed seeing the lights. We came home, put the cranky little boy to bed and wanted to relax until bedtime. Then about an hour after we put him to bed he wakes up screaming that his leg hurt. I laid in bed and cuddled him and Tyler tries calming him down. Ty then tells daddy he can leave and play video games because he is okay now. So Tyler gets up to leave and I ask Ty if I can leave too and he says no. I ask him why and he says, "because you my mommy and I love you."

In that very instant all of the drama and stress from the hours before washed away. The whining, kicking, screaming, pouting, yelling and anger just left me. Dealing with a three year old day in and day out and being a constant playmate wears me out sometimes. Being pregnant on top of that and sick with the flu just puts me in my place sometimes. These sweet little moments with my son makes everything all worthwhile. I don't have a perfect child. At times, he screams, whines and pouts. But there are moments when he is absolutely the most perfect human being in the whole world.

If you give a mom a break...

If you give a mom a break, she'll decide it would be nice to read a book.

As she sits down to read her book, she'll remember that she likes to drink hot chocolate while reading.

When she goes to make the hot chocolate, she'll decide to do a quick load of dishes while it heats up.

When the dishes are done, she'll decide that the counters need a quick wipe-down.

As she wipes down the counters, she'll find a stack of school papers to fill out.

She'll sit down to fill out the papers, and realize she can't find a pen.

She'll go to the office to get a pen and see the stack of bills to pay.

After she sits down and pays the bills and does the paperwork, she'll set it all on the kitchen counter, and see the dishrag still laying there.

So, she'll take it down to the laundry, where she will decide to throw a load of laundry in.

By the time she comes upstairs to get her book and hot chocolate, the hot chocolate will be cold.

She'll decide to skip the hot chocolate (better for the waistline) and read in a hot bath instead.

So, she'll go to draw the bath and find the tub full of toys.

She'll empty it out, and notice it needs to be cleaned.

So, she'll clean up the tub quick, and also the toilet, since the cleaners are all out.

Finally, she'll start to fill the tub with water for her hot bath.

Just as she does, her husband and kids will come home.

The hot (now cold) chocolate will be consumed by one child, while the other gets in the tub.

And, she'll realize that she really needs a break.

Reading

When I was younger, my mom always had my older sister and me go to the library and participate in their summer reading program. Because of that, I have always loved reading. We started Ty on the summer reading program in our town and have been visiting our local library at least once a week. Ty loves it. He loves picking out what books he wants to read and play with the little toys they have. So, recently I have been getting into reading as well. I started reading :

I obsessively followed the Casey Anthony Murder Trial and they constantly compared her to Diane Downs. I was interested in reading more about her and found a book about her at our library. It was crazy. In short, she is a mother who was convicted of shooting her three children and murdering one. She still believes she was wrongly convicted.



I am an extremely paranoid person. Sometimes it drives my husband crazy but this book has pushed my paranoid to the extreme. It is so sad that there are people like him who have a complete disregard for life.


Soo, after reading two very heavy and crazy books, Tyler pleaded with me to read a happier book. I think he was a bit concerned....


So I am currently reading,
And I LOVE it! It definitely provides the boost I need on certain days. It's so unfortunate that stay at home moms need to always justify their choices. Nobody questions why a woman is a nurse, teacher or banker. We aren't on any state insurance, food program or relying on our church or family for anything so why the heck does it matter if I stay home? I highly recommend this book! It will put a bounce in your step and a smile on your face :)

Cute!!

Stay at Home Mom's
by Jennifer Johnson

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.